Tips for raising an Autism child
We have two beautiful girls, and my youngest was diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder at 4 years old. She is a strong feisty little firecracker, who loves her reflection, loves to sing and dance till the early morning type of girl. I currently have 4 years of experience with ASD/ADHD (with her) and I must say it has been a world class of adventures. It sure makes me feel so grateful for all the blessing and learning for having Sumz in our lives. So here are my tips based on my experiences with my kid alone...
Patience: There's so many perspective in regards to patience, but I'll focus on just a couple. First tip is to be patient with your kid while learning the life outside of your home. YES, this one is a doozie because it's exhausting. I find ways to get Sumz girl out and about so she's exposed to big gatherings (i.e. family, church, amusement park etc), and small ones (friends/relatives house) and of course she prefers small groups. We haven't ventured out to concerts because of the sounds that maybe too much. However, I have learned that as I get my daughter more exposure to big crowds, events etc, even with the crying and falling on the ground, cleaning the church, Walmart, airport floors etc, my Sumz girl in her own pace continues to learn to deal with slowly but surely. If you had met 4 - 6 years old Sumz girl, we would be in the car hysterically crying her heart out refusing to get out and attend an activity or function or visiting someone's home. Today, Summer is loud, fun and vibrant (talking more of course). She is out and about and saying 'hello' to almost everyone. Second tip is to learn to be patient with yourself in getting use to the life with ASD. It is definitely not easy and it is a process. Dealing with very limited communication, different type of moods, the 24/7 care/attention of your child (or children) and so much more is A LOT so give yourself a break. It is OK that the milk is empty because Sumz decided to pour them into cups and pans all over the house. It is OK to go to bed with a clean living room and waking up to the opposite as if you didn't just clean it before you went to bed. It really is OK that all the expensive things that you use to have is broken or lost (sometimes I will find a pair of earrings or necklace on her doll). Mama's don't get burned out over such things because the journey is just starting and as long as your baby is happy and you're smiling, YOU'RE DOING AWESOME!!
Acceptance: Ahhh there's so many ways this can be interpreted as well, but I'll focus on a couple. Please do not waste your time comparing your kid to another ASD kid because we all know this, everyone is different. Easier said than done...lol. When talking about your ASD kid with other ASD parents, it is really easy to compare and wish this and that about your kid. Why must you go there in your thoughts...oh I don't know maybe because you were raised different, and expectations were always high etc? Mama's you have to accept the fact that this is how your kid is and there's nothing you can do about it besides helping her progress and enjoy life. When Summer started to show signs of ASD I was so confused with a lot of things. I read up on it and started to make sense of certain behaviors the stimming, the rearranging the whole room as if a tornado came through my bedroom, and of course nonverbal. However, when she started preK, I ran into other parents with ASD kids, some of those kids were talking, and sharing, yet Summer was not even there at all. I started thinking oh how nice it would be if she was this and that and that was not helping because my expectations started to blind me from my reality. I love that I was able to share my thoughts and feelings/annoyances with my husband and got some guidance which helped in getting me back to MY reality. As a mom, you're the closest person to your kiddo, once you accept her as she is with no expectations and continue to help her progress, ohhhh the sparkles of miracles appear in front of your eyes and it sure warms your heart. The Second tip is part of acceptance of your situation is realizing how it affects your family as a whole. Raising/Caring for an ASD kid should be a teamwork situation where everyone in the family helps out by being on the same page. I get it Mama's you will continue to be the main person but educating your other kid/s and husband on how to deal with the ASD child in different ways can be very helpful in so many ways and especially for you. I also encourage sharing with those that are close to the family because this helps the ASD kid to stay on that path of progression. For example, teaching Summer to saying thank you if someone does something for her and say please when asking for something started with us then we asked our siblings, cousins and parents to remind Summer to do the same so currently Summer uses the 'thank you' and please correctly. My oldest who is couple years older than Sumz loves and adores her little sister. She is such a grown-up when dealing with Sumz and at times when Sumz is not in the mood to listen to me, her big sister is there helping and guiding her. I am blessed with the best and I'm sure you are too. We're here on this earth because the Lord has individual plans for each of us. However, part of the plan is that we return to Him someday, so for us to be together forever, requires each and everyone of us to work together in making that happen. On that note, keep moving forward with your babies and always look for those little sparkles of miracles. Till next time...
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