Lessons Learned from Dealing with My Kids

Ahhh, this week I wanted to write about many things, but I decided to focus on family challenges or what's happening that someone else can learn or relate to. For those with a family or babysitting nieces and nephews, you might be interested in this piece or see what I missed or have done differently from you.

My oldest has a love-and-hate relationship with Math. I, on the other hand, have very little patience with teaching math. My husband and I try to help her as best as possible with her Math. We would both remind her that learning her timetables will make it easier. It is an ongoing discussion on why it's important to remember her timetables, yet her response would always be, I did already; I got it! McK has been back at public school since last week (since March 2020), and she loves it. It just makes sense for her since she is a people person, loud and proud, and all of the above. My McKy girl is a happy and all-around friendly human being who loves life. She loves music, dance, softball, and volleyball, and she pushes forward with whatever she's given and accomplishes it as best as possible. I love her personality and know she will succeed in whatever she puts her mind to. She claims to be good at everything, but when it comes to Math, she cries and get all emotional about how frustrating it is for her. Her Dad and I continue to help guide her through her math problems, and of course, she prefers her Dad, but he's pretty busy with other things. So, I challenged myself to remind her to learn her timetables and to remind MYSELF to remember she's ten and not expect her to understand math as if it's something easy for her to process. We're starting better this week than last week, that's for sure so it's progress. Patience and being realistic with your expectations about your kid's level makes a lot of difference. Fractions, we will get you one way or the other! Just you wait!

My Sumz girl was diagnosed with Autism and ADHD @ four years old, and I started homeschooling her when I stopped working in 2020. I decided to get educated in the field from Penn State (World Campus) on Educating Individuals with Autism. This helped to get me better equipped to help my daughter. I enjoyed that program because it confirmed that what I was doing was heading in the right direction. It also helped me connect certain behaviors and interventions to terms used only in the ASD world.

Summer has come a long way because she can talk more and read at the Kindergarten level, and I'm so proud of her. Just a couple of years ago, she would smile and point and speak less than 50 words, but not anymore. My girl has become more social with others (to a limit but way better than before). When we homeschool, I try to make it repetitive, but we always seem distracted by some fiasco she had caused, or the sleeping schedule gets in the way. However, we have grown up a little this year. Let me say this when I say we have grown up a little; we are not going through half an hour to an hour just trying to get out of bed to get ready. We're down to 20 minutes on good days, haha! The crying and falling out on the ground still happen, incredibly if she's exhausted and we have to go somewhere (i.e. to pick up her sister from school, go to church or run errands that she has no interest in doing). Having her do schoolwork is still a push-and-pull situation, but it is much better today. In the Autism world, we're to use different ABA techniques to help the kids. Positive Reinforcements (praises, WTG cheers etc) and Negative Reinforcements work very well with Sumz, and it's fun to watch her try to manipulate the events and her environment to get what she wants. I manage that when I see fit, but sometimes, I let her control whatever it is to see how far her brain works.

An example of negative reinforcement is that I will take her toy or tablet away if she does not finish writing 10 sentences (copying the words that is) and read one of her library books. Last year she would take her time with reading and sometimes fall asleep or fall out on the floor crying then pretend she's sleeping just to not do any work whatsoever.

The writing was like pulling teeth (she is not a fan). However, I've encouraged her to write whenever she wants (we have all sorts of markers, pens and pencils). Even though I have notebooks, and boards to write on, Sumz find the wall of our house a much better choice (see photo lol), and I just let her (reminding myself the goal is to write). This year its as if a light bulb came on when she realizes that if she does school work faster and accordingly, she can get back to playing or doing what she loves (which has no writing or reading involved). It cracks me up but giving her a little push sometimes is what she needs. So for the parents with Autistic kids, keep doing what you're doing. You know your baby best, so set realistic expectations and goals. Love them enough not to baby them and know when they need a little push here and there to keep moving forward. They may have therapies and teachers, but it's all up to you and your baby to get them pushing forward. It's hard to do but so worth it, even when it's a small win. We're in this together. You got this!!

Like most Moms, being able to get through the day is a WIN! Having a fantastic support system helps too. I'm grateful for my husband and our 'village' for being there for us and especially our kids. I hope the month of January is treating you all well...till next time!